I Feel So Unworthy

Do you ever feel like others get blessed while you feel like nothing great is happening to you? It seems like God is blessing them and they testify of His Goodness and how He answered their prayers but you just plod along, loving the Lord but not making a difference?

We make a lot of excuses to the Lord sometimes. For example, when a new job opportunity comes but you are afraid to apply because you feel unworthy, under-qualified, lacking skills, unequipped...the list goes on. OR, God is telling you to let go or mend a certain relationship but you feel like you cannot bridge the gap between both of you. OR, it could be your relationships at work and you feel like you cannot make an impact or change because you're just the 'cleaner' or you're 'just the postman'.

YOU are not alone. A lot of people in the Bible felt the same. They felt under-qualified and that they lacked skills.

Let's read the Story of Moses. We all know this story because we read it as kids and there is even a movie about it.

Exodus 3

Now Moses was tending the flock of Jethro, his father-in-law, the priest of Midian, and he led the flock to the far side of the wilderness and came to Horeb, the mountain of God. There, the angel of the Lord appeared to him in flames of fire from within the bush. Moses saw that though the bush was on fire, it did not burn up. So Moses thought, "I will go over and see this strange sight - why does the bush not burn up?"

Clearly Moses was inquisitive.

When the Lord saw that he had gone over to look, God called to him from within the bush, "Moses! Moses!"

And Moses said, "Here I am."

"Do not come any closer," God said. "Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground." Then he said, "I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob." At this, Moses hid his face, because he was afraid to look at God.

The Lord said, "I have indeed seen the misery of my people in Egypt. I have heard them crying out because of their slave drivers, and I am concerned about their suffering. So I have come down to rescue them from the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land into a good and spacious land, a land flowing with milk and honey - the home of the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites. And now the cry of the Israelites has reached me and I have seen the way the Egyptians are oppressing them....

STOP THERE!!! - I can actually imagine Moses saying, Amen, Lord. Ooh, yes. Thank You Lord for answering our prayers and for hearing our cries. Thank You!

...So now, go. I am sending you to Pharoah to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt."

I am guessing on here Moses was like, "Hold up, Lord...just wait a MINUTE...me?"

Then the excuses began.

Self Doubt:

But Moses said to God, "Who am I that I should go to Pharoah and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?"
Moses felt unworthy, he doubted himself and the ability that he had to do it. He felt that he had no skills

Fear of Rejection

Moses answered, "What if they do not believe me or listen to me and say, "The Lord did not appear to you."

Moses was afraid of rejection. Well, who isn't afraid of failure. It's hard to stand up in front of people and try something risky when you wonder if you are even really up for it. When faced with that sort of pressure, Moses had to tell God he couldn't do it. But God had a clear message for Moses and for us. God doesn't care about our excuses. He knows our capabilities, and if he does not think we could do it then he would have asked somebody else. Even the fact that he used 'what ifs' made him sound like he was belittling himself. Do you find  yourself doing that? You're scared. But God has not given you the spirit of fear, but of POWER, of LOVE and of a SOUND MIND. A sound mind means one of peace, not of worry or anxiety. And if you are anxious, then pray about it and the peace of God which transcends all human understanding will guard your heart and your mind.

Under-qualified
But Moses said, "Pardon your servant Lord, but please send somebody else."
Moses realised he would not win and he had run out of excuses so in the end, he settled for begging.
I really don't blame him. Imagine having to be hated by the Israelites, and then you have a speech impediment, you stutter, you are shy and then having to talk to PHARAOH and convince him to let God's people go? I would be scared too.

The funny thing is, the Lord told Moses to just use the staff he had in his hand.

The Staff

Then the Lord said to him, "What is that in your hand?"
"A staff," he replied
The Lord said, "Throw it to the ground."
Moses threw it to the ground and it became a snake and he ran from it.

You're probably thinking, what is the point of this? Well, after complaining about how he was unworthy, the Lord asked him what he had and all Moses had in his hand was a staff. He probably thought, 'Lord, I am going up against Pharaoh here and you're telling me I should use a measly old STAFF to fight against him?'

The whole point is, God will use the weak to bring about  victory - 1 Corinthians 1:27 - "But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong."

Guess what? It is the same with you! You can compare yourself to others but comparison is the thief of all joy.

The Message

• Go with what you've got and God will give you what you need
• Wait on God
• Comparisons will make you feel like you aren't blessed as much as others are.
• Pray intentionally
• When God sees you he does not see the limitations you set for yourself.

One root of envy is ingratitude. We must begin to give thanks for everything that we have received. Let us give thanks to God for the gifts that OTHERS have received. 

God used many others in the Bible.

Abraham and Sarah - God promises Abraham and his wife Sarah that they would one day be parents, even though they were old and barren. They had nothing but God told them their children would be as the number of stars at night. So many that they would not be able to count them.

Jeremiah - At the time that this prophet was born, the people of God were not living according to His Word. So, God called Jeremiah to change the people through him. In fact, he planned this out before Jeremiah was born. Jeremiah was scared, of course, like Moses but his excuse was that he was  too young. He did not think he could speak out against the wickedness, he was only about 20 years of age. God touched Jeremiah's mouth and he spoke boldly against the sin in the land. 

Gideon - After Joshua died, the people of Israel disobeyed God (again).God wanted Gideon to lead the people of Israel against the Midianites but of course, Gideon was afraid. He had an army of 32,000 men but God cut that down to 320 men. Hello? Why would God do that? He used the little that Gideon had to prove that He was God.

So, whatever it is that's bothering you or making you feel unworthy or under-appreciated, just remember how God used all these people. Despite their lack of confidence, God turned them into great prophets. God can do great things in and through you too!

Enjoy the last month of the year.

God bless.

Are Your Conversations Full Of Grace?

Paul, writing to the Phillipians tells us to have conversations that is worthy of Christ and His gospel. Every word that we speak should be words that we claim to believe are worthy of Christ and His Word. If we think about it, we have marriages that are spoilt, relationships that are spoilt because of the words that come out of our mouths.
We can judge someone's spirituality by what comes out of their MOUTH. Out of the ABUNDANCE of the heart, the mouth speaks. You can judge someone by their conversation very clearly.

There was a time when we all talked filthy talk...well, I did (I don't know about you). I would swear and I spoke as I wanted to speak. But Paul tells us in Philipians 1:27 - "Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in the One Spirit, striving together as one of the faith of the gospel without being frightened in any way by those who oppose you. This is a sign to them that will be destroyed, but that you will be saved - and that by God. For it is granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him, since you are going through the same struggle you saw I had, and now hear that I still have."

Is your conversation WORTHY of God?

Gosh, that's scary to think about. I mean, when I am upset, I do speak all kinds of profanity. If God was to come right now, what would He hear?

Covetousness
Hebrews 13:5-6 warns us let our conversations be without covetousness; and to be content with the things we have. There's nothing wrong with wanting better things, but when it possesses your heart that you HAVE TO HAVE IT at all costs, that's when it becomes serious. When it's all you think about it, how to get it, how to figure it out, it's in your thought life.

We seem to think our conversations and words just fall to the ground and die, or they disappear, but our words live on and they do not die.

You may be going through a lot right now; you're out of employment, you're sick but it's always a testimony when you build UP others in SPITE of what you go through. You speak with CONFIDENCE despite your problems. Your words reveal what's going on in your heart (Luke 6:45 - A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of."

If someone is gossiping about someone else, to avoid gossip, say something nice about the person and then change the subject. If you have those friends that are constantly bashing others, the best thing to do is mention it to them and tell them you're not comfortable with it, if they continue, avoid them but pray for them. You also have to evaluate your own heart because words say a lot about who a person is.

Words said out of impatience can really hurt others and ruin a friendship. I know I have a problem with this...or used to...still do? Maybe? Well, when I am upset or very very HUNGRY, I can be so impatient and can snap at people. But...clearly, I should listen to God a lot more, clearly. LOL. He tells us in Proverbs 15:28 to be patient and think before we speak.

You can honestly tell a lot about a person by listening to what they have to say and how they say it. What do your words reveal about you?

ALL in ALL - I know you cannot LIKE EVERYBODY, because some people...eish, it's hard to like them because of their mistreatment towards you. BUT that doesn't mean your behaviour towards THEM has to change in anyway...think about how Jesus was on the CROSS, people threw insults at him, they cursed him, they mocked him, they embarrassed him, they ridiculed him, but he didn't retaliate. In the end, all he said was 'Father, forgive them...'. Think about it in that way...

Let us change, guys. Let us speak words that are uplifting to others.

Faith, What's That?

This year has been a testing year. I have friends who are also going through stuff and it made me think about faith. As a Christian, I am always told to have faith. I am always told that I have to trust in God. I am always told that God knows what He is doing. My Mother and my Cousin most especially. They tell me the importance of prayer. It's so easy to be upset because good things happen to other people, but they never seem to happen to you.

So, what does faith mean to me? Faith means having complete trust in God no matter WHAT happens to you. Faith is having hope in the fact that He has your back. It's expecting the best instead of the worst. It's accepting that things happen for a reason and there will be a light at the end of the tunnel.

I can now see that looking back in life, everything I have prayed for...came to pass. If it didn't come to pass, I now realise that it happens later down the line or I didn't need it. Either way, God knows what He is doing. I know sometimes I can let ONE thing destroy my day. If I do so badly on a test or assignment, or I feel that I performed badly after writing an exam (that was just recently, hehe), I let it ruin my day, sometimes, my whole month. Then I think about Jonah's conversation with God after he preached at Ninevah. He was so upset because he thought Ninevah didn't deserve the grace of God. It just seems selfish thinking about it now but it seems like we do this too.

"But to Jonah, this seemed very wrong and he became angry. He prayed to the Lord, "Isn't this what I said, Lord, when I was still at home? That is what I tried to forestall by fleeing to Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity. Now, Lord, take away my life, for it is better for me to die than to live."
But the Lord replied, "Is it right for you to be angry?"
"Jonah had gone out and sat down at a place east of the city. There he made himself a shelter, sat in its shade and waited to see what would happen to the city. Then the Lord provided a leafy plant and made it grow so up over Jonah to give shade for his head to ease his discomfort and Jonah was very happy about this plant. But at dawn the next day, the Lord provided a worm, which chewed the plant so that it withered. When the sun rose, God provided a scorching east wind, and the sun blazed on Jonah's head so that he grew faint. He wanted to die than to live."
But God said to Jonah, "Is it right for you to be angry about the plant?"
"It is," he said, "I am so angry, I wish I were dead."
But the Lord said, "You have been concerned about this plant, though you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up and died overnight. And should I not have concern for the great city of Ninevah, in which there are more than a 120,000 people who cannot tell their right hand from their left - and so many animals?"

So, reading about Jonah's conversation with God made me think. There's no point in letting one thing ruin my day or month or year. Besides, the Lord Himself told us that we shouldn't worry about tomorrow, let the day worry about itself. It's so much harder than I thought but I'm working on it.
GOD Himself asked, "how many of us add A SINGLE HOUR to our lives by worrying?" - Matthew 6:27

So, God lovingly allows us to go through tests in life in order to build our faith - to test us to see what is in our hearts. We obviously crack under pressure and look at the scenario through human eyes rather than the Word of God. Right now, looking at my situation - I won't lie, I'm kind of scared, trembling in fear, in fact. What if I don't find a job? What if I don't pass? What if I die in sin? What if I don't truly know God as much as I should. What if my parents are disappointed in me? I have a friend going through this right now. She is in an interracial relationship but afraid that her parents will not accept it. The whole point is, we look through our situations through our own eyes rather than the the Word of God. Nevertheless, unbelief in the fact that God isn't going to pull us through isn't an absence of faith, it's just insufficient.

As I said before, faith is actively believing that God can do it. When we believe that God can do it, there is an action, a response to God's WORD. Faith goes far beyond an intellectual awareness of the Bible. The whole point is...obey and TRUST and BELIEVE in Him.

This whole thing has been around for a long time. It makes me think of the Israelites. How they would relish in the fact that God had delivered them then when a test had come, they would grumble and complain. I don't want to be like that. I want to have faith and relish in the Word of God.

Having faith is the only way that you will ever be able to face calamity or affliction. It was the only way in Habakkuk's day (Read the Book of Habukkuk), it was the only way in the Old Testament and the New Testament and it's the only way NOW.

So if you're going through something, whatever it is...I don't know, fear of being forever alone, fear of failure, fear of neglect...remember that those thoughts are a burden.

• You shouldn't have to accept them. It's important to get into that place of positivity, hope and faith that the things that are to COME are for your own GOOD. The situations that YOU face now are not forever. You have to look outside of YOURSELF. 
• Be extremely positive. If you don't have faith or hope, you have nothing. Always remember that whatever you're in NOW is not forever. It's just a stepping stone for what will happen in the future. 
• Things will not be HARD FOREVER - It will humble you.

Learning How To Be Content

Contentment. We all struggle with it. We all want more from life. We all want things we don't necessarily need. But we are humans, we will always want something we don't need. I mean, look at celebrities, they are so RICH, filled with fame and fortune, yet they seem so unhappy (some of them) and end up losing their lives to drugs, end up in rehab, end up addicted to drugs, go from relationship to relationship, getting divorced and remarried. I mean, honestly, it's ridiculous.

I remember, as a little girl, I used to look UP TO Beyonce. I used to WANT to be her and in fact, ended up dressing like her...to the extent where I would wear revealing clothes, put on a mass of make up and listen to all her music, I mean, I idolised her. But then I got saved...


God tells us to "keep our lives free from the love of money and to be content with what we have, for he has said he 'I will never leave you nor forsake you.'" - Hebrews 13:5. Isn't that enough to just put a smile on our faces? God  tells us to BE CONTENT. Do you know what contentment means? It means to be SATISFIED and be filled with JOY no matter what we are going through. But that's also a learning process because Paul said himself "I have leant in, whatever situation, to be content" - Phillipians 4:11-13

But that is SO hard, isn't it? But I was directed to a bible verse, and in fact, it is now one of my favourite verses, Psalm 139:14 - God SHAPED me and MOLDED me, who am I to question how he made me? He carefully crafted my body, every single detail of it. I am MARVELLOUSLY MADE, beautifully made, in fact, the Word tells me I am FEARFULLY MADE and I really do worship in adoration, because I am a beautiful creation. I also know I am made in the image of God. The very IMAGE of God. He formed me in my mother's WOMB, so I can never complain or not be content with the way he has made/formed me. I can never question Him.

I'm also reminded of David's prayer to God. Psalm 73

"Surely, God is good to Israel, to those who are pure in heart. But as for me, my feet had almost slipped, I had nearly lost my foothold. For I envied the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.

They have no struggles, their bodies are healthy and strong. They are free from common human burdens, they are not plagued by human ills. Therefore, pride is their necklace, they clothe themselves with violence. From their callous hearts comes iniquity (sin), their evil imaginations have no limits. They scoff and speak with malice, with arrogance, they threaten oppression. Their mouths claim to heaven and their tongues take possession of the earth. Therefore their people turn to them and drink up waters in abundance. They say 'how would God know? Does the Most High know anything?'

Surely in vain I have kept my heart pure and have washed my hands in innocence. All day long, I have been afflicted and every morning brings new punishments. When I tried to understand all this, it troubled me deeply, till I entered the presence of God, then I understood their final destiny..."

How can we learn to be content?

Well...

1. Learn to give thanks for every little thing you have - I try and do this as often as I can. In fact, I have a prayer journal where I try and write my prayers of thanks to God. You can always read Psalms (there are a lot of thankful prayers in there) - 1 Thessalonians 5:18 - "Be cheerful no matter what, pray all the time, thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you, who belong to Jesus Christ, to live"

2. Learn to be satisfied with the little you have - We all struggle with this because we always want more - 1 Timothy 6:6 - We came to this world with nothing and we will leave this world with nothing

3. Learn to be happy for others' well-being - When something GOOD happens to someone else, be HAPPY. It's no good being jealous, being envious of what they have. Be happy, be glad. They are a friend, why should you feel the need to rebuke them because something good happened to them? - Phillipians 2:3-4 - Learn to value OTHERS above yourself, not looking at your own interests, but the interests of others.

Anyway, that's a Sunday post for me. It's something I was just thinking about. It's always a struggle but being content with what you have means you will be so much more thankful for what you will get and what will come to you.

Be Content. x