I Feel So Unworthy

Do you ever feel like others get blessed while you feel like nothing great is happening to you? It seems like God is blessing them and they testify of His Goodness and how He answered their prayers but you just plod along, loving the Lord but not making a difference?

We make a lot of excuses to the Lord sometimes. For example, when a new job opportunity comes but you are afraid to apply because you feel unworthy, under-qualified, lacking skills, unequipped...the list goes on. OR, God is telling you to let go or mend a certain relationship but you feel like you cannot bridge the gap between both of you. OR, it could be your relationships at work and you feel like you cannot make an impact or change because you're just the 'cleaner' or you're 'just the postman'.

YOU are not alone. A lot of people in the Bible felt the same. They felt under-qualified and that they lacked skills.

Let's read the Story of Moses. We all know this story because we read it as kids and there is even a movie about it.

Exodus 3

Now Moses was tending the flock of Jethro, his father-in-law, the priest of Midian, and he led the flock to the far side of the wilderness and came to Horeb, the mountain of God. There, the angel of the Lord appeared to him in flames of fire from within the bush. Moses saw that though the bush was on fire, it did not burn up. So Moses thought, "I will go over and see this strange sight - why does the bush not burn up?"

Clearly Moses was inquisitive.

When the Lord saw that he had gone over to look, God called to him from within the bush, "Moses! Moses!"

And Moses said, "Here I am."

"Do not come any closer," God said. "Take off your sandals, for the place where you are standing is holy ground." Then he said, "I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac and the God of Jacob." At this, Moses hid his face, because he was afraid to look at God.

The Lord said, "I have indeed seen the misery of my people in Egypt. I have heard them crying out because of their slave drivers, and I am concerned about their suffering. So I have come down to rescue them from the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land into a good and spacious land, a land flowing with milk and honey - the home of the Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites. And now the cry of the Israelites has reached me and I have seen the way the Egyptians are oppressing them....

STOP THERE!!! - I can actually imagine Moses saying, Amen, Lord. Ooh, yes. Thank You Lord for answering our prayers and for hearing our cries. Thank You!

...So now, go. I am sending you to Pharoah to bring my people the Israelites out of Egypt."

I am guessing on here Moses was like, "Hold up, Lord...just wait a MINUTE...me?"

Then the excuses began.

Self Doubt:

But Moses said to God, "Who am I that I should go to Pharoah and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?"
Moses felt unworthy, he doubted himself and the ability that he had to do it. He felt that he had no skills

Fear of Rejection

Moses answered, "What if they do not believe me or listen to me and say, "The Lord did not appear to you."

Moses was afraid of rejection. Well, who isn't afraid of failure. It's hard to stand up in front of people and try something risky when you wonder if you are even really up for it. When faced with that sort of pressure, Moses had to tell God he couldn't do it. But God had a clear message for Moses and for us. God doesn't care about our excuses. He knows our capabilities, and if he does not think we could do it then he would have asked somebody else. Even the fact that he used 'what ifs' made him sound like he was belittling himself. Do you find  yourself doing that? You're scared. But God has not given you the spirit of fear, but of POWER, of LOVE and of a SOUND MIND. A sound mind means one of peace, not of worry or anxiety. And if you are anxious, then pray about it and the peace of God which transcends all human understanding will guard your heart and your mind.

Under-qualified
But Moses said, "Pardon your servant Lord, but please send somebody else."
Moses realised he would not win and he had run out of excuses so in the end, he settled for begging.
I really don't blame him. Imagine having to be hated by the Israelites, and then you have a speech impediment, you stutter, you are shy and then having to talk to PHARAOH and convince him to let God's people go? I would be scared too.

The funny thing is, the Lord told Moses to just use the staff he had in his hand.

The Staff

Then the Lord said to him, "What is that in your hand?"
"A staff," he replied
The Lord said, "Throw it to the ground."
Moses threw it to the ground and it became a snake and he ran from it.

You're probably thinking, what is the point of this? Well, after complaining about how he was unworthy, the Lord asked him what he had and all Moses had in his hand was a staff. He probably thought, 'Lord, I am going up against Pharaoh here and you're telling me I should use a measly old STAFF to fight against him?'

The whole point is, God will use the weak to bring about  victory - 1 Corinthians 1:27 - "But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong."

Guess what? It is the same with you! You can compare yourself to others but comparison is the thief of all joy.

The Message

• Go with what you've got and God will give you what you need
• Wait on God
• Comparisons will make you feel like you aren't blessed as much as others are.
• Pray intentionally
• When God sees you he does not see the limitations you set for yourself.

One root of envy is ingratitude. We must begin to give thanks for everything that we have received. Let us give thanks to God for the gifts that OTHERS have received. 

God used many others in the Bible.

Abraham and Sarah - God promises Abraham and his wife Sarah that they would one day be parents, even though they were old and barren. They had nothing but God told them their children would be as the number of stars at night. So many that they would not be able to count them.

Jeremiah - At the time that this prophet was born, the people of God were not living according to His Word. So, God called Jeremiah to change the people through him. In fact, he planned this out before Jeremiah was born. Jeremiah was scared, of course, like Moses but his excuse was that he was  too young. He did not think he could speak out against the wickedness, he was only about 20 years of age. God touched Jeremiah's mouth and he spoke boldly against the sin in the land. 

Gideon - After Joshua died, the people of Israel disobeyed God (again).God wanted Gideon to lead the people of Israel against the Midianites but of course, Gideon was afraid. He had an army of 32,000 men but God cut that down to 320 men. Hello? Why would God do that? He used the little that Gideon had to prove that He was God.

So, whatever it is that's bothering you or making you feel unworthy or under-appreciated, just remember how God used all these people. Despite their lack of confidence, God turned them into great prophets. God can do great things in and through you too!

Enjoy the last month of the year.

God bless.

The Private War of a Saint

Do you have those moments of despair, moments where you feel like God is not near you. Everything was going well. You read your Bible every day, you were growing with God, doors were opening and then all of a sudden you just don't FEEL Him. 

Or, you feel like God no longer loves you and you get tired and worn down by those voices that condemn you. Or that you've hurt God more than enough times and you just don't want to any more. 

Everyone who walks closely with the Lord has gone through seasons of having a heavy heart. Some of us have gone through financial issues, issues with our families, health problems, etc. David (I know I use him a lot), he had great faith, but he grew weary at times due to the burdens that he faced. 

Have you ever been through seasons where nobody, not even a service, a message, a counsellor, can lift your burden. You try to pray, which helps, sometimes, but it does not seem to get you anywhere. It feels like God has abandoned you?

When we are saved, we are made righteous in Christ - Romans 3:22 and even as Christians and as those who seek Christ, we will be tempted and we will go through seasons of heaviness of sin, private issues, pain, problems...possibly everything. All of us as Christians, as the CHURCH, are in a spiritual 'warfare'. You have heard this before. For example, if you look to the Middle East, Christians are persecuted for their faith. In fact, we had the Barnabas Fund talk at our Church about the persecution of Christians in Iraq, Kenya and other places. Places where people are KILLED and made to choose between their faith and their life.

Pastor David Wilkerson, who I truly, deeply love, quite a while ago, he was an American preacher, preached on the persecution of Christians. He said if we truly obey the true mission of Christ to a lost world, we will be marked. He said you will find enemies everywhere. We, as Christians, have a mission and that mission is to tell men who have spent a lifetime believing that they are doing good and that they are achieving something and tell them that it's all filthy rags. 

We know that the one who walks in the Spirit and walks with God will be tempted and will be persecuted. The more spiritual you become the more intense your battles. The Spirit of God will lead you into the wilderness BUT the devil will do the tempting.

Every Christian on earth has probably faced or will face their own private war. The Bible tells us in Ecclesiastes 3:8 - "To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven. A time of war and a time of peace."

I know one Godly Man who suffered his own private war. He was a very charitable man and served God faithfully for years. He worshipped God, he was honest, he loved God's Word so much and even those who hated him knew how righteous he was. But one night, because of lust, he made another woman pregnant. Because he panicked and wanted to cover up his sin, he arranged a hit man to kill the woman's husband. He was later exposed. All his friends forsook him, he cried out because his burden became intolerable. He was ashamed and his guilt became unbearable. His soul was flooded with bitter tears and grief. Day after day, he cried out to God. You know who I am talking about, right? King David. A man after God's own heart suffered his own private war.

Paul told us that there would be a spirit of lust upon the world. We would be enticed. We cannot even think that the holier we are, the more immune we are to falling into the lusts of the flesh. Even if we are faithful to God and pray and study his Word, we will be temped. Look at David, who loved the Lord more than anybody, he was tempted fiercely and he gave in to his lust. 

But some of us have lost a battle against lust and we are in the midst of this private war. We face guilt, fear and confusion every single day. But remember, even in the midst of the war, Jesus is your Victor.

How Do We Overcome the Private War?

Psalm 18:34 - "He trains my hands for batter; he strengthens my arm to draw a bronze bow."

There is no step by step plan to this. God works in mysterious ways.

1. David Cried Out To The Lord

Psalm 70 - 'Please God, rescue me! Come quickly, Lord and help me. May those who try to kill me be humiliated and put to shame...'

All of us will face burdens and times of heaviness because, I know you don't want to hear this, this will teach us wisdom as soldiers of God's army. He needs us in this war. You are an example to those around you. You are the one who God will use to drive back the enemy. You are the one he wants to teach how to fight.He will use you as an example to strengthen those who are weak in their faith.

    2.   Live or die I will magnify the Lord

We need to set our hearts to magnify the Lord in the midst of our war. That doesn't mean smiling and pretending to be happy, but to glorify Him regardless of what we are going through. It means to stand still in the midst of the storm and to firmly declare in our hearts, 'Lord, I believe in You.'

   3. Cast Yourself On The Mercy of God

If you look at David's testimony, David learned that God would never have allowed his distress to overcome him. By His grace, His problems would not take him down. In every struggle, God is always full of tender mercy to those who are repentant - 'The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and plenteous in mercy. He will not always chide, neither will he keep his anger forever...'

Please make this your testimony. Look at all your fears,  your distresses, your anxieties and your temptations, and say by faith, "By God's grace, I am not going down. I will not be overwhelmed by these things.'

His grace is sufficient for you!

In every private war you face, keep your eyes and your thoughts fixed on God's mercy and loving kindness which will never fail.

Amen

Pastor Wilkerson teaching on 'The Private War of a Saint'

The Prophet Elijah

So, this Month I have been reading about the Prophet Elijah. Although, he is one of the most famous Prophets in the Bible, I have never really read up on him. I usually read Parables or a certain story and take what I can from that story. But, reading on Elijah, I have fallen in love with him. He is funny, quirky, interesting and very vibrant, yet his life was filled with a lot of sorrow, which today would be seen as turmoil. There is SO much to learn from Elijah because he was so bold and decisive, and sometimes fearful and hesitant to do things, we can (well, I know I can), learn a lot from this prophet. He had so much faith and demonstrated the power of God and there is a lot we can take from him.

Let's begin with his name. I was surprised to learn that the name Elijah means 'My God is Jehovah'. I wouldn't mind naming my Son that name now that I know what it means. Also, from the research I have done and even the reading, there is not much about his background either. In 1 Kings 17:1, we are just told that he came from Tishbeth in Gilead.

The Problem

There is a reason why the Prophet Elijah came into being. The whole problem was that, the King at the time, Ahab, 'did what was evil in the eyes of the Lord, even more than ANY OF THE KINGS BEFORE HIM.' This guy was crazy. Not only that, as if THAT wasn't bad enough anyway, he went on to marry Jezebel. He started worshipping 'Baal'. He even built a temple and an altar for Baal. He did more than provoke the anger of the Lord, than ANY of the other Kings of Israel before him. Okay, let me just enlighten those who do not know why God would be upset or who don't even have any IDEA who Baal is. Baal was a fertility god (and is still worshipped up to today) and people believed back then that he would help them produce children. Others, such as the Canaanites, worshipped him as the sun god and as the storm god. How he even came about, that's another story, but the whole point is, God was not pleased that His people were worshipping other gods and all this idol worship was not pleasing to Him. (1 Kings 16)

The Solution

Now, God being God, He will obviously offer a solution. He uses Elijah, which ironically means 'HE is Jehovah', I find it ironic because the people back then, under the reign of Ahab, were worshipping Baal. But God sends a Prophet called 'ELIJAH', a man, whose name praises HIM. So, Elijah confronts the King. See how BOLD he was. Imagine...okay, let's say President Obama (as an example), passes a law stating that we must worship a god called 'Baal'. Would YOU as a Christian confront him and challenge him to say 'God, Jehovah, will not be happy with this? The whole land is in danger because of this law?'. Depends on how prayerful you are, because that's what Elijah did. He challenged Ahab and even prophesied to him telling him that there will be 'no dew or rain during the next few years until I give the word'. He was warning Ahab that a drought would come upon his nation because of his evil choices. Because they chose to worship Baal.

After warning Ahab of this, Elijah was told by God to hide near the Brook of Kerith, near the Jordan River. He was even fed by ravens as the drought and the famine in the land got worse. To be fair, from the human mind, I can't even begin to imagine how a raven would fly back and forth to bring food for a person. It's just something I can't even fathom. But the ravens brought Elijah bread and meat, each and every morning and evening. But, after a while, there was no rainfall anywhere in the land so it was all dried up. (1 Kings 17:6). 

The first thing I have learned is that Elijah had faith. He was told by God to go and hide and he left, without food or water. If I was him, I'd try and stash up as much food as I could so I could survive, but he trusted that God would provide for him.

The Widow - 1 Kings 17:8

So, obviously, as Elijah is in hiding, the famine is still going on. He hasn't got food left. God then tells him to 'go and live in the village of Zarephath, near the city of Sidon'. At this stage, knowing myself, I'd probably be sick of hiding and start complaining. I wonder if Elijah did that? He had a lot of faith because God told him to travel again. It was quite a long way from there and I am guessing he has never been before. He didn't know anybody, he had no relatives, but he followed God's word and went anyway. God sent a widow to provide food for Elijah. Now, this widow was a poor woman, she was out by the town gathering a few sticks for fire. He asked her for a drink, but she started to leave. He had to assure her that she would have enough to eat and they would not run out. She insisted that it would be impossible as she only had a small amount of flour and oil to cook for herself and her son. Once it was finished, she'd die. She was expecting to die because of the drought. There was no rain, the crops would not grow and obviously there was no food. 

I wonder...what did God see in this widow? Was it faith? He favoured her for a reason for Him to choose her. God would have provided for Elijah in other ways, but I wonder, why this widow in particular? But, anyway, just as the Lord had promised, they had food. She also had a tremendous amount of faith. Imagine going through a drought, you have no food, you're taking care of your only child, you're expected to die soon and you don't have enough food to feed a third person, yet when a stranger comes to you and promises that you won't run out of food, would you stand on that promise? She had faith because how did she know where that food would come from? Maybe God heard her struggle, maybe He heard her prayer. I just wonder. 

Sometime later, the widow's sun became very sick. In fact, he grew so ill that he died. She lay the blame on Elijah. Even though she always had food, and the flour and oil never got to be empty, the widow and her son had enough to eat, she ended up blaming Elijah when her son died. She was wondering whether Elijah was sent by God to curse her for her sins. I don't know what she was going through personally. What sins she had committed. But it makes me think of us today. Maybe she had lost her faith in God at that point; but she truly believed after her son was brought back to life by Elijah.

The Face-Off - 1 Kings 18:17-40

THREE years LATER...this is a LONG time for a drought...the Lord told Elijah to go to King Ahab. I wonder what been happening during those three years in that Kingdom. Was King Ahab looking for Elijah? I mean, if Baal was so powerful, how come he hadn't found Elijah? I wonder if Elijah ever got discouraged being in hiding. But, the famine was so bad in Samaria. Elijah got in touch with Obadiah, who was also a follower of God. They had a meeting and Elijah instructed Obadiah to inform the King that he wanted to have a word with him.

Once Elijah got in touch with the King, he made a deal with him. The prophets of Baal would call upon their god and ask him send down the rain. Then, Elijah would call upon HIS God, Jehovah, to send down rain. The God who answers is the true and living God. 

Elijah mocked the prophets of Baal, asking them to call upon their god. They did this all day long to send rain from heaven but nothing happened. Elijah mocked them, telling them to 'dance more' or 'shout louder' and funnily enough, they did this.

I love Elijah's sense of humour. He is hilarious. He said that Baal was maybe 'talking to someone else' or 'taking a walk or sleeping and needed to be woken up'. Well, they danced even more and cut themselves until evening but Baal did not answer them.


When they gave up, Elijah built an altar to God, put the sacrifices on the top of that altar and called for water to be poured over his sacrifice three times. HE called upon God to send fire from heaven and burn the sacrifice. God had proven that He was more powerful than any false gods. Of course, nowadays, we cannot see this sort of evidence of God's power BUT we have the same access to God and same power through the Holy Spirit in our lives. 2 Corinthians 4:7 - 'we now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves'.

Elijah had so much faith. Of course, there are many Prophets that had the courage to act on God's word. But, nevertheless, Elijah had the courage to act on God's word and show these idolaters that they were not doing right in praying to the false god. We do need to stand up for what's right, we need to be brave. Act on His WILL.

The Aftermath

After the whole victory over the false prophets, in spite of the victory and the provisions from God, Elijah enters a period of depression. He gets depressed after hearing that Jezebel was planning on killing him. He hides in a cave and starts to feel sorry for himself. He focuses on everything else but God. That's when the fear of what Jezebel would do to him and his feelings of being alone crept in. 

Of course, it's normal seeing as we are humans. When we start to focus on the NOISE and CLUTTER of this world, we get our eyes of the Lord. If we continue to walk in obedience to His Word, we will be rewarded. Elijah is a great example. He was filled with so many human failures and weaknesses, but he was used so much by God. God saw the potential in him.