Are Your Conversations Full Of Grace?

Paul, writing to the Phillipians tells us to have conversations that is worthy of Christ and His gospel. Every word that we speak should be words that we claim to believe are worthy of Christ and His Word. If we think about it, we have marriages that are spoilt, relationships that are spoilt because of the words that come out of our mouths.
We can judge someone's spirituality by what comes out of their MOUTH. Out of the ABUNDANCE of the heart, the mouth speaks. You can judge someone by their conversation very clearly.

There was a time when we all talked filthy talk...well, I did (I don't know about you). I would swear and I spoke as I wanted to speak. But Paul tells us in Philipians 1:27 - "Whatever happens, conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ. Then, whether I come and see or only hear about you in my absence, I will know that you stand firm in the One Spirit, striving together as one of the faith of the gospel without being frightened in any way by those who oppose you. This is a sign to them that will be destroyed, but that you will be saved - and that by God. For it is granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him, but also to suffer for him, since you are going through the same struggle you saw I had, and now hear that I still have."

Is your conversation WORTHY of God?

Gosh, that's scary to think about. I mean, when I am upset, I do speak all kinds of profanity. If God was to come right now, what would He hear?

Covetousness
Hebrews 13:5-6 warns us let our conversations be without covetousness; and to be content with the things we have. There's nothing wrong with wanting better things, but when it possesses your heart that you HAVE TO HAVE IT at all costs, that's when it becomes serious. When it's all you think about it, how to get it, how to figure it out, it's in your thought life.

We seem to think our conversations and words just fall to the ground and die, or they disappear, but our words live on and they do not die.

You may be going through a lot right now; you're out of employment, you're sick but it's always a testimony when you build UP others in SPITE of what you go through. You speak with CONFIDENCE despite your problems. Your words reveal what's going on in your heart (Luke 6:45 - A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of."

If someone is gossiping about someone else, to avoid gossip, say something nice about the person and then change the subject. If you have those friends that are constantly bashing others, the best thing to do is mention it to them and tell them you're not comfortable with it, if they continue, avoid them but pray for them. You also have to evaluate your own heart because words say a lot about who a person is.

Words said out of impatience can really hurt others and ruin a friendship. I know I have a problem with this...or used to...still do? Maybe? Well, when I am upset or very very HUNGRY, I can be so impatient and can snap at people. But...clearly, I should listen to God a lot more, clearly. LOL. He tells us in Proverbs 15:28 to be patient and think before we speak.

You can honestly tell a lot about a person by listening to what they have to say and how they say it. What do your words reveal about you?

ALL in ALL - I know you cannot LIKE EVERYBODY, because some people...eish, it's hard to like them because of their mistreatment towards you. BUT that doesn't mean your behaviour towards THEM has to change in anyway...think about how Jesus was on the CROSS, people threw insults at him, they cursed him, they mocked him, they embarrassed him, they ridiculed him, but he didn't retaliate. In the end, all he said was 'Father, forgive them...'. Think about it in that way...

Let us change, guys. Let us speak words that are uplifting to others.

Faith, What's That?

This year has been a testing year. I have friends who are also going through stuff and it made me think about faith. As a Christian, I am always told to have faith. I am always told that I have to trust in God. I am always told that God knows what He is doing. My Mother and my Cousin most especially. They tell me the importance of prayer. It's so easy to be upset because good things happen to other people, but they never seem to happen to you.

So, what does faith mean to me? Faith means having complete trust in God no matter WHAT happens to you. Faith is having hope in the fact that He has your back. It's expecting the best instead of the worst. It's accepting that things happen for a reason and there will be a light at the end of the tunnel.

I can now see that looking back in life, everything I have prayed for...came to pass. If it didn't come to pass, I now realise that it happens later down the line or I didn't need it. Either way, God knows what He is doing. I know sometimes I can let ONE thing destroy my day. If I do so badly on a test or assignment, or I feel that I performed badly after writing an exam (that was just recently, hehe), I let it ruin my day, sometimes, my whole month. Then I think about Jonah's conversation with God after he preached at Ninevah. He was so upset because he thought Ninevah didn't deserve the grace of God. It just seems selfish thinking about it now but it seems like we do this too.

"But to Jonah, this seemed very wrong and he became angry. He prayed to the Lord, "Isn't this what I said, Lord, when I was still at home? That is what I tried to forestall by fleeing to Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity. Now, Lord, take away my life, for it is better for me to die than to live."
But the Lord replied, "Is it right for you to be angry?"
"Jonah had gone out and sat down at a place east of the city. There he made himself a shelter, sat in its shade and waited to see what would happen to the city. Then the Lord provided a leafy plant and made it grow so up over Jonah to give shade for his head to ease his discomfort and Jonah was very happy about this plant. But at dawn the next day, the Lord provided a worm, which chewed the plant so that it withered. When the sun rose, God provided a scorching east wind, and the sun blazed on Jonah's head so that he grew faint. He wanted to die than to live."
But God said to Jonah, "Is it right for you to be angry about the plant?"
"It is," he said, "I am so angry, I wish I were dead."
But the Lord said, "You have been concerned about this plant, though you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up and died overnight. And should I not have concern for the great city of Ninevah, in which there are more than a 120,000 people who cannot tell their right hand from their left - and so many animals?"

So, reading about Jonah's conversation with God made me think. There's no point in letting one thing ruin my day or month or year. Besides, the Lord Himself told us that we shouldn't worry about tomorrow, let the day worry about itself. It's so much harder than I thought but I'm working on it.
GOD Himself asked, "how many of us add A SINGLE HOUR to our lives by worrying?" - Matthew 6:27

So, God lovingly allows us to go through tests in life in order to build our faith - to test us to see what is in our hearts. We obviously crack under pressure and look at the scenario through human eyes rather than the Word of God. Right now, looking at my situation - I won't lie, I'm kind of scared, trembling in fear, in fact. What if I don't find a job? What if I don't pass? What if I die in sin? What if I don't truly know God as much as I should. What if my parents are disappointed in me? I have a friend going through this right now. She is in an interracial relationship but afraid that her parents will not accept it. The whole point is, we look through our situations through our own eyes rather than the the Word of God. Nevertheless, unbelief in the fact that God isn't going to pull us through isn't an absence of faith, it's just insufficient.

As I said before, faith is actively believing that God can do it. When we believe that God can do it, there is an action, a response to God's WORD. Faith goes far beyond an intellectual awareness of the Bible. The whole point is...obey and TRUST and BELIEVE in Him.

This whole thing has been around for a long time. It makes me think of the Israelites. How they would relish in the fact that God had delivered them then when a test had come, they would grumble and complain. I don't want to be like that. I want to have faith and relish in the Word of God.

Having faith is the only way that you will ever be able to face calamity or affliction. It was the only way in Habakkuk's day (Read the Book of Habukkuk), it was the only way in the Old Testament and the New Testament and it's the only way NOW.

So if you're going through something, whatever it is...I don't know, fear of being forever alone, fear of failure, fear of neglect...remember that those thoughts are a burden.

• You shouldn't have to accept them. It's important to get into that place of positivity, hope and faith that the things that are to COME are for your own GOOD. The situations that YOU face now are not forever. You have to look outside of YOURSELF. 
• Be extremely positive. If you don't have faith or hope, you have nothing. Always remember that whatever you're in NOW is not forever. It's just a stepping stone for what will happen in the future. 
• Things will not be HARD FOREVER - It will humble you.

The Fall Of King David

This is one of my favourite stories in the Bible but it's actually deeper than that. Let me tell you about David. He was a righteous man, a man after God's own heart. A man who wrote and composed music about God, His goodness, His love, His mercy. This is a man who was so supposedly perfect; and committed to God, but he committed some serious sin (which shows that even He fell short and wasn't perfect). I read this again and it was like my eyes were opened. I've learnt something.

Let's see it from Bathsheba's perspective. She was just minding her own business, washing off on a warm night when a messenger from King David told her that the King had seen her bathing from his rooftop...oh, and he wanted to meet her. But, we don't know how she felt. I can only imagine that she was probably glad to have to be in the presence of the King. Her husband, Uriah, was off fighting for WAR FOR David himself in the army, so maybe she couldn't exactly refuse to go.

Anyway, we don't know what she was thinking, but she and David slept together. At the end result of that night, she got pregnant.

From David's perspective; David, one evening, was chilling in his palace, and he saw a woman bathing. He was overcome by LUST and he instantly wanted her. The Bible says, this woman was so beautiful and obviously, David was so intrigued that he sent someone to find out about her. He was told the woman was 'Bathsheba' and she was 'the wife of Uriah'. So, at this point, he knew she was a married woman. That's the first mistake he made.

He then sent his messengers to go and get her, she came to HIM and he slept with her. She got pregnant and informed David that she was pregnant. You can only imagine how David felt. Well, let me guess. He slept with one of his soldiers' wives. He must have felt ashamed, embarrassed, anxious...I can only imagine.

After this, we see a series of events. This GODLY man continuously tried to hide his sin. He sent word to Joab saying 'send me Uriah', he was obviously under the pretence of seeking information about the course of the war, but his main thing was to bring Uriah back to Jerusalem.

When Uriah came to him, he tried to convince him to to back to his house and relax. I mean, seriously, he tells Uriah to go home and relax, he obviously wanted Uriah and Bathsheba to enjoy their evening together. He wanted to hide deeper into his sin and pretend he hadn't fathered Bathesheba's child. BUT Uriah was so loyal to him, he slept outside the palace and did not go home.At one point, he ensured that Uriah got drunk so that he could go home and sleep with his wife. He woke up after that BUT Uriah continued to be loyal and faithful to David and did not go home.

He must have felt guilty, because I know I would, but there is no evidence of guilt here. David, at this point, hadn't even confessed his sins to God, he hadn't even recognised that he had sinned. He wanted to cover it up more and more. This led to him getting Uriah drunk in the hope that Uriah would go home and sleep with his wife, but nope, this still didn't happen.

In the end, he just decided to have Uriah killed by putting him at the front of the war line where the most dangerous and strongest defenders were. He planned all this so that he could marry Bathsheba himself as quickly as possible. Jeez, this guy is bad. LOL. But, it's honestly hard to imagine a man so close to God, so intimate with Him to fall so short. It's hard to imagine a man who composed such beautiful psalms, such great morals, such LOVE for God, so passionate about Him...yet he fell so deep into it.

Later on, Bathsheba's child dies. Bathsheba mourned for her husband for 7 days; but he later made her his wife. At this point, he probably had I think 5 wives...but later had Solomon after marrying him. Anyway, David showed no remorse, no guilty for his sin and God did not take it lightly.

Man, you can obviously see how this built up. David got someone else's wife pregnant and decides to hide it and cover it up. But GOD knew. And, if you read the rest of it, you will see that what He had done had DISPLEASED the Lord. Not only had he broken God's laws, he had shamelessly abused his royal power, which God trusted him with.

David can be seen as a total failure but God called David 'A Man after His OWN heart' in 1 Samuel 13:14. You can see his anguish in the Psalms, particularly Psalm 6, Psalm 32 and Psalm 51. 

What I learnt (with notes from David Wilkerson's Podcast):

• It does not matter what your sin is or may be. But no sin will cause God to give up on you. You are still his purchased possession. Even though David despised God by committing adultery, the Lord did not give up on HIM. 
• God even sent a PROPHET to David - he sent Nathan - to tell David what he had done wrong. He was confronted by a Prophet of God (I think in those days, God sent messengers to warn people). 
• Also, his fall caused him to write some beautiful words (as seen in Psalms). I can only imagine what David felt at that point, embarrassed? Ashamed? I mean, imagine if you did something like that and a Man of God comes and tells you that God knows what you have done.
• It took 40 years to get fear out of Moses and to make him listen to the words of God - but Moses because one of God's greatest heroes. David had to run back to the house of God and cried out for forgiveness and peace. 
• "Jonah retraced his steps and did exactly what he refused to do at first, bringing the City of Ninevah to repentance and deliverance."
• "So DESPITE their failure, these men became great men of God. They kept moving on. It's always after a failure that a man does his greatest work for God.

The bottom line is...FAITH. And faith rests on this one - "No weapon formed against you shall prosper." - Isaiah 54:17.

Even Paul said in Romans 7:14 - 25:

"My own behaviour baffles me. For I find myself doing what I really LOATHE but not doing what I really want to do...I often find that I have the will to do good but not the power. When I want to do good, only evil is within my reach..."

The message is...stay in God's presence. I'm sure you know what happened to Saul. - Read it in 1 Samuel 13 and onwards...

Hope you enjoyed...x

Dating in 2014

I know...I know, it seems like I talk about this quite a lot, but it surrounds me. This post is about dating.
It's not like I claim to know everything or that I claim to be perfect or that I am the purest of them all and those that do stuff in relationships are hypocrites. I am not saying that at ALL. But this is what I have learnt through observation and learning through other people's relationships.

Let's start from the beginning:

We know that God created mankind in His own image and he created us 'male and female'. God also gave us a blessing to be 'fruitful and multiply in number, to fill the earth and subdue it...' - Genesis 1:27 and onwards.

So, we know in the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth and he created a man...Adam. But, all the animals in the Kingdom had a mate and God saw that Adam was alone and said 'It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.' So, although the world's idea of marriage is trading rings and getting tied down, God's idea of marriage is tying two people together into a beautiful, permanent, love relationship.

Then we have Proverbs 18:22 says "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favour from the Lord".

FIND means "to be discovered, to be gained. A man basically gains something when he finds a wife". Isn't that amazing? This actually tells me that I have to be found, I shouldn't be out there looking for a a man. I should not even lower my worth to go out with someone. Why should I? I am a special kind of woman (I'm saying this without pride by the way) and I know I am worth something.

Proverbs 12:14 states "A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones"

A crown is typically worn by Kings, right? So, a man should be a King. I can see someone actually shaking their heads at this, but its only on how you treat them or see them. It should be an honour to have his last name, is he worth having as a King?

So, for me, I feel like dating is like an interview process. You should determine whether you want them in your forever or not. You don't want to go from guy to guy to guy to guy and treating each guy as a King when they're only passing by...or won't even get to the graduation (marriage). You are worth so much more than that. You are wonderfully and fearfully made. You are a goddess, a queen and you deserve to be treated as one.

When you are dating; you should learn things - what are their eating habits, do they want children, what is their family like (heck, I need to know because I am marrying into that family, potentially), how do their finances work (if he is a spendaholic, and he is a save-aholic, can you work around that?).

Check that person's standards; check that person's boundaries, ask them what their values are (do they believe in sex before marriage?) and are those in line with the God's Word (If you're a Christian)?

There is emotional intimacy and physical intimacy. Emotional intimacy is all that stuff men probably don't like. Communication etc.Physical intimacy is...well, it's sex (yes, I said it). At least place some boundaries in your relationship, if a man has to force you or make you feel guilty about having sex with him, clearly he doesn't want to be with you for very long.

Oh, and the friendship thing between men and women. I was reading Heather Lindsey's blog on "Can Guys and Girls Be Just Friends"- check it out by clicking HERE.  She was saying that either a woman will get connected and grow feelings for that man or you become emotionally invested in that person. After pondering on this, I had to agree. Every man who I have had a close friendship with, somehow I end up growing feelings for them. It is so weird. For example, they will be the first person I call, or if something exciting happens to me, they will be the first person I call to even share the news. So, I kind of agree with Heather Lindsey on this. So - check it out and read it --> Heather Lindsey's Blog

What are your standards and let them know what YOUR standards are?

Ensure that how you act doesn't attract people who will make you LOSE YOUR VALUES or compromise your values. For example, staying pure and straying you away from God. 

What is the vision for their life?

Also, I know there are ladies out there that really want marriage (to be honest, I feel that they focus more on the wedding than the marriage) but don't get married just because you feel lonely or you FEAR that you will forever be alone. Remember, do not awake love before it's time (Songs of Solomon 8:4), and there is a TIME for everything under the sun (Ecclesiastes 3:1). As you wait, ask God to help you be patient, be kind, be gentle, be loving and joyful. It's not your time yet.Oh, and another thing, don't be depressed. Men come and go, heck, there are BILLIONS of people on this earth and God is that powerful that he will give you what you desire. There are so many misconceptions about marriage too (I am not yet married, but my mother has taught me so much...wisdom is gained through research). Most people just want that title because marriage is seen as the highest achievement. You shouldn't get into a marriage/relationship because you are lonely and you want someone to love you. 

Lastly, the Word tells us to be patient. James 5:7 tells us that just like farms wait for their land to yield valuable crops...patiently waiting for rains, we also have to be patient and stand firm. And if you believe in praying, pray. I don't know about you but my faith was strengthened because EVERYTHING I have asked for came to pass. If I didn't get it, it's ONLY because God knew what was best for me.

Some ideas from Pastor Conlon:

• Be kind to other people - people are frail, believe it or not.
• Keep it CLEAN
• Keep it PUBLIC - there is no shame in dating someone if you believe its a lasting relationship
• The date ends at the DOOR (LOL) 
• Lasting marriages are built on friendship and trust. If you violate friendship and trust, your soul builds difficulty in trusting them. It will be very hard for that other person to trust you when you get married (as they promise it at the wedding) - Marriage is honourable, it is the Will of God, the design of God
• Marriage is the most deep fulfilment of your heart in this life.
• Learn to pray and seek God. If you are selfish, be quick to admit it and ask God to change YOU before you get married.

Learning How To Be Content

Contentment. We all struggle with it. We all want more from life. We all want things we don't necessarily need. But we are humans, we will always want something we don't need. I mean, look at celebrities, they are so RICH, filled with fame and fortune, yet they seem so unhappy (some of them) and end up losing their lives to drugs, end up in rehab, end up addicted to drugs, go from relationship to relationship, getting divorced and remarried. I mean, honestly, it's ridiculous.

I remember, as a little girl, I used to look UP TO Beyonce. I used to WANT to be her and in fact, ended up dressing like her...to the extent where I would wear revealing clothes, put on a mass of make up and listen to all her music, I mean, I idolised her. But then I got saved...


God tells us to "keep our lives free from the love of money and to be content with what we have, for he has said he 'I will never leave you nor forsake you.'" - Hebrews 13:5. Isn't that enough to just put a smile on our faces? God  tells us to BE CONTENT. Do you know what contentment means? It means to be SATISFIED and be filled with JOY no matter what we are going through. But that's also a learning process because Paul said himself "I have leant in, whatever situation, to be content" - Phillipians 4:11-13

But that is SO hard, isn't it? But I was directed to a bible verse, and in fact, it is now one of my favourite verses, Psalm 139:14 - God SHAPED me and MOLDED me, who am I to question how he made me? He carefully crafted my body, every single detail of it. I am MARVELLOUSLY MADE, beautifully made, in fact, the Word tells me I am FEARFULLY MADE and I really do worship in adoration, because I am a beautiful creation. I also know I am made in the image of God. The very IMAGE of God. He formed me in my mother's WOMB, so I can never complain or not be content with the way he has made/formed me. I can never question Him.

I'm also reminded of David's prayer to God. Psalm 73

"Surely, God is good to Israel, to those who are pure in heart. But as for me, my feet had almost slipped, I had nearly lost my foothold. For I envied the arrogant when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.

They have no struggles, their bodies are healthy and strong. They are free from common human burdens, they are not plagued by human ills. Therefore, pride is their necklace, they clothe themselves with violence. From their callous hearts comes iniquity (sin), their evil imaginations have no limits. They scoff and speak with malice, with arrogance, they threaten oppression. Their mouths claim to heaven and their tongues take possession of the earth. Therefore their people turn to them and drink up waters in abundance. They say 'how would God know? Does the Most High know anything?'

Surely in vain I have kept my heart pure and have washed my hands in innocence. All day long, I have been afflicted and every morning brings new punishments. When I tried to understand all this, it troubled me deeply, till I entered the presence of God, then I understood their final destiny..."

How can we learn to be content?

Well...

1. Learn to give thanks for every little thing you have - I try and do this as often as I can. In fact, I have a prayer journal where I try and write my prayers of thanks to God. You can always read Psalms (there are a lot of thankful prayers in there) - 1 Thessalonians 5:18 - "Be cheerful no matter what, pray all the time, thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you, who belong to Jesus Christ, to live"

2. Learn to be satisfied with the little you have - We all struggle with this because we always want more - 1 Timothy 6:6 - We came to this world with nothing and we will leave this world with nothing

3. Learn to be happy for others' well-being - When something GOOD happens to someone else, be HAPPY. It's no good being jealous, being envious of what they have. Be happy, be glad. They are a friend, why should you feel the need to rebuke them because something good happened to them? - Phillipians 2:3-4 - Learn to value OTHERS above yourself, not looking at your own interests, but the interests of others.

Anyway, that's a Sunday post for me. It's something I was just thinking about. It's always a struggle but being content with what you have means you will be so much more thankful for what you will get and what will come to you.

Be Content. x

We Are Hosea's Wife

I love the Book of Hosea. I  read it quite some time ago but it's never too late to write what I learnt. Besides...I've got my notes, and it's still clear enough in my head. Okay - this is the story of Hosea's Wife, known as Gomer, in a nutshell.

Gomer was a prostitute. She didn't try and hide this sin. She flaunted it actually, living like a prostitute and sleeping with anyone who would buy her something pretty. She was known as the town prostitute. I wondered why God told Hosea to marry HER.

But He did...and God essentially used this marriage to draw a before and after picture for us. Gomer's sinfulness led her to a life of slavery and it was Hosea's right to get rid of her adultery. But GOD instructed Hosea to do something unusual. Hosea bought Gomer back from slavery and still loved her. Would you do that? Your wife/husband is constantly cheating on you yet you keep getting them back, loving them just as much as before and treating them as wonderfully as if she were brand new, a virgin. After Gomer had treated him so badly...so awfully, Hosea GAVE her mercy and grace she didn't even deserve. I wonder why...


Well, this is reflective of how God loves us. Our sin against Him is hurtful. It HURTS Him just as much as Hosea's wife constantly cheating on Hosea. We may not think that our sin is all that bad, but each time we do it, it insults Him. He bought us with the greatest price ever paid...His own blood and then...instead of treating us like SLAVES (which He is entitled to), He welcomes us back each and every time.

In a way...we are all like Hosea's wife. We are not perfect (but perfect in Him), but we struggle to remain faithful. The only thing that actually surprised me is Hosea's constantly forgiveness despite his wife's unfaithfulness. His love remained. Anyway, regardless of us being unfaithful, God is always faithful to us.

Sinful actions are like concrete to the soul. After a while, your heart becomes hard and heavy, preventing YOU to turn to God for help.

Also, this is not to judge anybody because your relationship with God is so different to my relationship with God. It is personal. Some people believe we can't wear make up as Christian women...others believe we can. Some people don't do their nails, others do. Some people don't believe in speaking in tongues, others do. It's all different. But being loyal and faithful to God is the main thing. Being obedient and loving your friends is the main thing. Being kind to one another and consistency in talking to God is the main thing.

God bless x